People are people through other people

I have not written any blog entry for quite some time. Although I have attended many lectures and heard many captivating ideas worth sharing. The lingering question on my mind was, why. Probably because blogging on the fringes without much of a feedback loop is very individualistic activity and I am more of a social animal. I believe human beings need to belong to something, to some form of community, and an individualistic blog is not a substitute for communal interaction. I have read recently a book by Victor Frankl titled Man’s Search for Meaning. Victor states he goes beyond Freud and stipulates that man is not just after actualizing bundle of erotic emotions but strives to derive meaning in life form love or work. Victor survived a few concentration camps during WWII by hanging on to the meaning his love for his wife gave him and his drive to complete his unfinished work, his book gave him. It is very logical but I could not bear a simple pairing of marriage and work on parity without qualification. I also thought there was something missing in the list. What does it mean to derive meaning form something? It means you identify yourself with something, It means you find a place you belong. Marriage or work, are just the most common representations of such places. Sometimes you derive meaning form one relationship and sometimes when things are not working well you derive meaning form belonging to a work group, or community organization, a circle of friends, or any other group whose explicit or implicit mandate aligns with your passions. That is why sometimes after a break up or loss of work people are advised to get lost in other activities, and that works! A void of belonging is filled with something else to belong to. If your girlfriend ignores you if boyfriend does not call back if work is not fulfilling, fudge them and belong to something that completes you. You can derive meaning form belonging to a motorcycle club, a pottery class or church quire. Does not matter, whatever makes you you. As long you are alive, you have to belong to something. Long time ago Archbishop Desmond Tutu said: People are people through other people….that is to say we self actualize by reflecting others, capturing the currents of thought expressed by others and reverberating them with our idiosyncratic twist. That’s humanity! Simply put that is belonging. And Belonging is where we derive meaning of life.

What do you belong to?